the lift

self preservation comes at such a price, sometimes, most times i want to be left clean alone, though its worth remembering the walls start jostling for position when alone is too alone, context is everything to be 'amongst', life was 'bad' back then, now you could never call it 'bad', it is stimulating, dangerous, challenging and the work is working, so i did escape, what can i say more than that really, 'do you want to fucking fight me?', welsh accent, well yes, better that than lying down for the long sleep, better than endless attempts at miraculous healing, here's the news: there is no illness, i just got trapped in a lift for a while, nothing more, when you can't open a door it is fucking frightening, fight and flee in enclosed spaces is messy and sometimes the door never opens, nobody turns the power back on and infact the building has collapsed in on the lift shaft and you are entombed, it does happen but it hasn't happened to me yet even though i have lived most of my life as if that were my perpetual state

not today though

hello

i think i'm awake