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Thursday, April 13, 2006

the lift

self preservation comes at such a price, sometimes, most times i want to be left clean alone, though its worth remembering the walls start jostling for position when alone is too alone, context is everything to be 'amongst', life was 'bad' back then, now you could never call it 'bad', it is stimulating, dangerous, challenging and the work is working, so i did escape, what can i say more than that really, 'do you want to fucking fight me?', welsh accent, well yes, better that than lying down for the long sleep, better than endless attempts at miraculous healing, here's the news: there is no illness, i just got trapped in a lift for a while, nothing more, when you can't open a door it is fucking frightening, fight and flee in enclosed spaces is messy and sometimes the door never opens, nobody turns the power back on and infact the building has collapsed in on the lift shaft and you are entombed, it does happen but it hasn't happened to me yet even though i have lived most of my life as if that were my perpetual state

not today though


i think i'm awake

Friday, April 07, 2006


immensely corrupt and a journey through treacherous landslide, collapsing corpus and teeth, he makes me cry, i am humiliated, humiliated is not a state i like to be in


dancing on a window ledge
15 stories high
i take it up upon myself
to learn me how to fly

i got a step on natures brim
and a head above the clouds
to take the leap
and dive right in
and learn me how to fly

the surface tension
snapping back
her walk-on-water eyes
consoled for mysteries deepest depths
would let me down to cry

would angels borrow me their wings
a surface tension lied
to tease me up against the brink
and learn me how to fly

but fear all made corruption be
her twisted wings denied
she could ever reach the stars
so i lay me down to die